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To love is one thing, to express is another

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It's one thing to love somebody, but it's another thing to tell him you love him.

Two years ago I had a best friend, we grew so close together. I always had had a crush on(爱着,迷恋) him, but I figured that it would be better if we stayed friends. Every touch was cherished and every moment I spent with him was cherished more. Everybody told me that it was a simple crush and I would be over him in no time. Those were the longest fifteen months of my life so far.

The first few months we spent just getting to know each other and I did develop a little crush on him, but I never said anything. Then, things started getting more shall I say interesting. He started flirting(调情,玩弄) and being more affectionate(充满情爱的) than regular. So of course I flirted back. There were times that I wanted to tell him I loved him but something told me not to say anything, so I didn't.

Quite a few months went by with just flirting and such things then I felt I had to do something or say something, I feelings that I hadn't felt before and I started not paying attention to things that were more important. All I thought about was him. His friends were always trying to hook us up and get us together but we never quite got there. I had had enough I decided to tell him what I felt and when I did I got what I expected. He had feelings for me too but was scared so thought that we shouldn't go out. I agreed but I wasn't amused with him response. I felt better that I had got those feelings off of my chest but something still wasn't right.

Three months passed and I was often getting sick and not being able to think right, making poor decisions and my friends weren't treating me the same. I finally felt that I didn't want to feel like this, so I told him what had been happening and he told me that over the last two months he had developed feelings for my best friend and felt that I wasn't an item in his mind now. I was devastated(毁坏的) but soon realized that he isn't the only one that would come and go in my life and that I would find somebody else, soon. I also learned that a great friendship is a hard thing to find and that you should treat your friends with all your love.

To this day I am friends with Austin and we still mess around(浪费时间) and flirt sometimes. But at the end of the day I know that I am in love with somebody else and he loves me back. I do wonder what would have happened if Austin and I would have been together but I'm happier now than I ever was. I also know that it's real love now. But hey I'm still young.


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